Lessons from India

I just returned three days ago from a month-long journey through Himachal Pradesh in northern India. Under the auspices of the Himalayan Health Exchange, I was among a group of 40 medical students, residents, physicians, and support staff who traveled to various remote villages to set up medical camps for the locals. After my first year of medical school I lived and worked with my aunt who is a practicing OB/Gyn in a small community hospital in Bangalore, India.

This experience was nothing like what I did in 2004.

Aside from the fact that I now have four years of medical school behind me with plenty of clinical experience, I have grown and changed so much that my perception of things is completely different now than it was four years ago. Among other things, I have cultivated a real sense of independence and self-sufficiency which I dearly lacked when I started medical school. Part of this is related to inexperience with the ways of the world which led me into many unhealthy relationships, both romantic and platonic. Only after making those mistakes could I really look at who I was and who I wanted to become. At that point, I realized that the unhealthiest relationship of all was the one I had with myself. Thus I embarked on a journey to rebuild everything from the ground up. Psychiatry played a big part in that journey, revealing diagnoses of generalized anxiety disorder and seasonal affective disorder. Once I was undergoing effective treatment for the biological aspects of my poor mental and emotional health, I could focus on the spiritual aspects of my quest.

The most difficult hurdle in the path to self-discovery are the bright lights and ringing noises of the people around you. When everyone you identify with starts making decisions about their lives that don't make sense for your life, a true identity crisis sets in. So many people get engaged and married as the end of medical school approaches, and as much as I know I am nowhere near making that sort of a sacrifice and commitment to another person, it did throw my goals into doubt. Finding kindred spirits helped to overcome those doubts, but it was the more arduous task of constantly reminding myself that I was responsible for my own happiness which really shaped who I am today.

What does all of this have to do with India?

India is an unforgiving, starkly beautiful place which strips away the trappings of Western life and forces the visitor to face what is revealed. Because of this, I was able to examine myself and realize that I have made great progress on my quest for self-definition. The journey will go on for a lifetime and I am looking ahead to whatever the future holds.